Emily Ratajkowski Topless. I REPEAT: EMILY RATAJKOWSKI TOPLESS.

So Emily Ratajkowski is on a beach in Cancun probably getting paid for being hot and wearing a bikini while I try to fend off calls from my landlord about rent being late again. But you don’t care about my problems. That’s not why you are here. I’d be surprised if anyone’s even reading this right now. I can say whatever I want. When I was a kid I shit my pants and buried them behind my house. When I go home for Thanksgiving I’m planning on digging them up. Other than that, I have no productive plans for the rest of my life.

As you know, we are a publication of integrity so we can’t just be posting bare boobies on the site, but before I link to the pics, here’s a little preview.

Ok now make sure Karen from Accounting isn’t peering over your shoulder.

Not Safe For Work

BONUS PIX!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMza6PzjGHb/?taken-by=emrata&hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/p/BL4oOwHj3HG/?taken-by=emrata&hl=en

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.