Nothing will put things into perspective like finding out a dude has lived 44 years without a yogurt slinger. And here I was thinking I was genetically inferior with these bitch tits and backwards knees. But before you start feeling bad for this Englishman named Andrew Wardle, let me inform you that he is in a loving long term relationship with a very pretty woman and he is set to receive a bionic penis!! All’s well that ends well.
Andrew Wardle suffers from a 20 million-to-one condition that caused him to be born with an ectopic bladder, which means it forms on the outside of his body. Doctors were able to fix his bladder so he’d be able to urinate, but he never developed a penis, according to Daily Mail.
But now, after over four decades living without a meat popsicle, surgeons at University College London have done gone’s work by fixing him up with a bratwurst made out of muscle, skin and nerves from his arms. It will be a fully-functioning penis if all goes to plan.
Wardle has an interesting perspective on his situation, and is surprisingly in no rush to have sex with his 25-year-old longer girlfriend, Fedra Fabian.
‘When you’re born without a penis and you can’t have sex, you just don’t get that excited about it,’ he said.
‘I’m just happy to get my life back but I could understand how if you were born with a penis but lost it, it would be hard.
‘A lot of it is peer pressure – society places certain expectations on you and you feel like you have to match that.
‘A lot of people do think it’s about sex but it’s not, it’s about relationships and life.’
Wardle also says that he’s never had trouble getting girlfriends, although some were more understanding than others. He claims to have had slept with over 100 women (I don’t know what constitutes ‘sleeping with’), and says that his hesitation to hop into bed on the first date often worked in his favor, as women were captivated by the “nice guy” persona he pulled off.
For those scoring at home, I’m back to thinking I’m genetically inferior.
[h/t Daily Mail]