Domino’s Newest Menu Item Is So Gluttonously Delicious Looking It’s Impressive We Hadn’t Invented It Already

Domino’s has somehow managed to claw its way up in the ranks of delivery pizza, beating out the grease bucket that is now Pizza Hut and crushing Papa Johns with its extra side options and garlic crust. But there’s a new pizza-ish item in town that’s sure to set Domino’s apart from the competition once and for all, and that gluttonous, gut-busting colon-cramping throat-choking item is…

A pizza burger. Er, burger pizza?

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Whatever, it’s pure lard and was created just in time to counteract the exercise people are getting from Pokemon Go.

Unfortunately for us fatasses, the BurgerPizza/PizzaBurger/Alternative to Laxatives is only available in India at the moment. With any (un)luck we’ll have it in the states soon, or not because why fix what ain’t broke? No one is asking for this; literally no one. People here are just as likely to order a pizza and then go grab a few McDoubles to layer on top, why make a Burger Pizza that’s actually a pizza? It’s just madness.

[h/t Uproxx]