A Tennessee man named Everett Chattman decided to dine at a Harriman, Tennessee Pizza Hut for a healthy lunch. Take a minute to digest that, because that is a phrase you’ll never hear again.
Chattman ordered a salad. At Pizza Hut. Just disrespectful in my opinion. The cashier must have been like ‘Da Fuck?’ Anyway, Chattman bit into a crouton in the salad and shattered part of his specialized dentures in doing so.
You had to see this coming, pal. No ones ordered a salad from Pizza Hut since, well no one’s ever ordered a salad at Pizza Hut. Those croutons have to be like breaded Jolly Ranchers.
After the restaurant would not negotiate with Chattman and his lawyer, Mark Foster, on the compensation for incident, Chattman decided to sue. In a court of law. Like with a judge and a gavel and shit. For “excessively hard croutons”.
According to Roanoke County News,
“The restaurant’s negligence caused him personal injury and property loss.”
And he won. The judge awarded Chattman $2,400.
Asked Mark Foster was asked if he thought his client was satisfied with the ruling, he replied, “I think so.”
No word on whether or not the restaurant will counter-sue Chattman for ordering a salad at Pizza Hut.
But if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call my lawyer and make a case against Hot Pocket for scorching off all my taste buds.
[H/T Complex]