Knowing That Farrah Abraham Makes $544,000 Being A Stripper Makes Me Want To Set Things On Fire
Just to put this into perspective, here’s a short list of things that cost $500,000, which is $44,000 LESS than what Farrah’s making frolicking around a pole like a half-witted turd made of pixie dust:
1. A ticket to Mars
2. Six Model S Tesla cars with all the fancy fixin’s
3. 500,000 McDoubles off of the McDick’s dollar menu
Life isn’t fair.
“…Abraham claims she inked a $544,000 deal to dance as part of the club’s Celebrity House Feature, which kicks off Aug. 22, according to RadarOnline.com. Customers who want to watch the 23-year-old perform will have to fork over $2,500 for an hour or $500 for 10 minutes.
‘It benefits everybody,’ BeBe Montgomery, manager of Palazio, told Radar. ‘It’s really fun … I hired Farrah as a waitress about a month ago and then we talked about it. She decided to switch to dancing. And then we talked again and came to an agreement for six figures. We’re really happy and excited.’”
Who in ever-loving-fuck would be willing to pay $2,500 for a lap dance from Farrah? Using that money as toilet paper would be a more productive way to use it, along with setting it on fire, eating it, burying it in your yard underneath a giant slab of cement…the possibilities are endless.
But Farrah here is smart (bigger lies have never been spoken), so she’s planning on investing the money into her frozen yogurt business.
“‘I’m thankful and can use this to expand [my frozen yogurt shop] Froco’s second location!’ Abraham said. ‘I’m super excited!’”
Yes. Because everyone’s going to lining up and down the block to eat frozen yogurt from a place where this horrifying “thing” straight out of my childhood nightmares is the mascot:
Who goes to a froyo place to “keep it weird” (is she expecting everyone there to be tripping on Acid on Wednesdays or something) or listen to live music? Newsflash: NO ONE. People get froyo as an excuse to get “healthy” ice cream, except then they barf fucking chocolate syrup and candy all over it so it’s basically the same as eating regular fat-fuck ice cream. Yeah…I’m gonna have to pass on that one. Kthxbi.