Two Harvard Employees Accused Of Stealing Money Meant For Students With Disabilities To Buy Dildos

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In the biggest dick move since Lloyd Christmas sold Harry’s dead bird to blind Billy in 4C for a sack of marbles, two former Harvard Law School administrators have been accused of stealing thousands of dollars from an account meant to help students with disabilities.

According to Boston’s CBS News,

Harvard University police allege Meg DeMarco, 33, and Darris Saylors, 32, used the funds to purchase laptops, iPads, DVDs, jewelry, and even a few X-rated items. In all, the police investigation said the women stole about $110,000.

The probe revealed purchases of dozens of laptops, iPads, iPods and other electronics. Court documents say a subpoena to Apple traced the items to DeMarco’s home in Chelsea and Saylors’ apartment in Cambridge. Police also discovered items at the homes of Saylors’ friends and family in California, Washington and Tennessee.

Court documents claim that DeMarco used a card reader to directly deposit the school’s money into her bank account. She was bagged after a new budget manager at the law school noticed some discrepancies during an audit.

Saylors has been accused of purchasing a plethora of items off Amazon–such as purses, jewelry, clothing, and even some sex toys. Police claim the two tried to disguise the purchases in budget documents by changing the descriptions of their unauthorized purchases to things like, “textbooks for disabilities accommodations.”

Both DeMarco and Saylors resigned from their positions at the Dean of Students office after a police investigation began.

Somewhere, someplace, there is a blind girl who can’t afford a service dog walking into oncoming traffic. Sad.

[h/t CBS News]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.