These New Crocs Will Cost You $216 But That’s A Small Price To Pay For All The Sex You’ll Have

By 07.17.17

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Hey bro, are you in a bit of a dry spell? Your dad bod and affinity for getting cross-eyed drunk and drooling down your chin not quite reeling in the ladies? Have you tried changing your personality? Still nothing? I got you.

For the small price of $216, you can turn that dry spell into the Viagra Falls with these sexy new crocs from fashionista Christopher Kane. Kane has shattered the stereotype that crocs are solely intended for 45-year-old virgins who wear fanny packs non-ironically and whose cargo short waste band never dips below their belly buttons. ¬†Just add a couple rocks on the top of them to remind women how hard you are and jack up the price by 4,000% to let women know you can afford the finer things, and you’ll slapping skins with anyone you please.

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Don’t say I’ve never done anything for ya.

 

[h/t LADbible]


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