It doesn’t get any more Bro than Dustin Johnson. His wife and baby’s mama, Paulina Gretzky, is the daughter of the great hockey player of all time. He won the U.S. Open. He’s on pace for a strong finish to the PGA Tour. He gave a pretty amusing fuck-off about not going to Brazil to play golf in the Olympics. He’s chay to the max.
He also packs mad lippers. Like many-a Bro, he dips like a boss, probably because it keeps his head straight on the golf course. Except buzz killington bro-haters are pissed about it, like James Corrigan:
“After Sunday’s gobsmacking and gob-emptying performance in Indiana, the world No 2’s reputation as the game’s biggest hitter is in danger of being updated to ‘biggest spitter’ as well.”
“It is a shame that so many viewers’ enjoyment of the latest Johnson masterclass was marred by a feeling of disgust, as the languid American repeatedly expectorated.”
…
“Plenty of fans will say “Who cares?” But you only had to scan social media as Johnson created his stomach-churning spectacle at the BMW Championship to discover that many cared and many were repulsed. So much for golf being a sport of etiquette.”
Oh. My. God. Don’t you have tea time or some bullshit to go to? I’m sorry, Mr. British etiquette dude. Didn’t America kick your ass over this stupid mannerism bullshit back in the 1770s? You need to grow a pair of testicles if you’re disgusted by a dude packing bombs like a boss. Back when I worked at a country club in college, you know how many used car dealers I used to serve with a huge pinch of Skol or Red Man in? The goddamn club would go out of business if golfers weren’t allowed to dip. I’d have to clean carts with three or four empty tins in them after 18. Hell, based on that experience alone, I’m pretty sure the sport/hobby of golf wouldn’t exist without it.
dufner does it nobody bats an eye, but Johnson does it and people lose their minds, instead of saying at least it's not blow.
— GreatLockerRoomGuy (@johnnyrockets27) September 15, 2016
Look at all these mouth-breathers on Twitter yapping about their disgust towards Johnson. What a bunch of bullshit. Let the man play golf and dip in peace. Here are some angry tweets via the fine work of Big Lead Sports:
https://twitter.com/tammylenleo17/status/775074269474746368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
https://twitter.com/arthurmacmillan/status/775073436460847104?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
@TheOpen Do we really need to see close up shots of Dustin Johnson spitting so often, actually why is he constantly spitting on the course?
— Raymond Moffat ⭐⭐ 💙🇬🇧 (@RM1750) July 16, 2016
Please stop spitting #DustinJohnson #gross #goodmanners
— Liz Browne (@lizbybrowne) June 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/kathryn_gale/status/744760506083348480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Dustin Johnson could be penalised a further 4 shots for constant spitting apparently. Officials will look at amount of phlegm soon #USOpen
— Dean Goddard (@drobgod) June 19, 2016
Why does Dustin Johnson insist on spitting #USOpen
— Tara Siân Hayes (@tarasianhayes) June 19, 2016
Just watched Dustin Johnson spitting on the green on TV. Oh these Americans!
— Eric John Archibald (@ArchibaldEric) March 31, 2016
@EuropeanTour plse request Dustin Johnson to stop gobbing + spitting on the course disgusting behaviour!
— Alison Louw (@alisonlouw7) November 8, 2015
@EuropeanTour @SkySportsGolf @pgaofamerica wish Dustin Johnson would stop continually spitting on the golf course at the WGC China Open
— Robert Smith (@roblivestream) November 8, 2015
@SkySportsGolf please show Kevin Kisner and Dustin Johnson what they look like spitting on the world stage .
— bill heath (@billheath5) November 7, 2015
@pgatour when are you going to do something about players spitting? Dustin Johnson caught more than once today. Should be punished #WGCHSBC
— Nicola Lewis (@nichlewis) November 5, 2015
@TheOpen Please ask @DustinJohnson to STOP spitting on the course? #golf #pgatour #BritishOpen #ESPN
— Don Young (@TVdonyoung) July 19, 2015
I am fed up with Dustin Johnson spitting all over the course. Glad he has just had a quadruple bogey! @uspga1 @SkySports #ugh
— David Kissman (@Plumtreelad) May 31, 2015