A Bunch Of Dumb Buzzkills Are Pissed About Bro King Golfer Dustin Johnson Dipping Like A Boss On TV

By 09.15.16

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It doesn’t get any more Bro than Dustin Johnson. His wife and baby’s mama, Paulina Gretzky, is the daughter of the great hockey player of all time. He won the U.S. Open. He’s on pace for a strong finish to the PGA Tour. He gave a pretty amusing fuck-off about not going to Brazil to play golf in the Olympics. He’s chay to the max.

He also packs mad lippers. Like many-a Bro, he dips like a boss, probably because it keeps his head straight on the golf course. Except buzz killington bro-haters are pissed about it, like James Corrigan:

“After Sunday’s gobsmacking and gob-emptying performance in Indiana, the world No 2’s reputation as the game’s biggest hitter is in danger of being updated to ‘biggest spitter’ as well.”

“It is a shame that so many viewers’ enjoyment of the latest Johnson masterclass was marred by a feeling of disgust, as the languid American repeatedly expectorated.”

“Plenty of fans will say “Who cares?” But you only had to scan social media as Johnson created his stomach-churning spectacle at the BMW Championship to discover that many cared and many were repulsed. So much for golf being a sport of etiquette.”

Oh. My. God. Don’t you have tea time or some bullshit to go to? I’m sorry, Mr. British etiquette dude. Didn’t America kick your ass over this stupid mannerism bullshit back in the 1770s? You need to grow a pair of testicles if you’re disgusted by a dude packing bombs like a boss. Back when I worked at a country club in college, you know how many used car dealers I used to serve with a huge pinch of Skol or Red Man in? The goddamn club would go out of business if golfers weren’t allowed to dip. I’d have to clean carts with three or four empty tins in them after 18. Hell, based on that experience alone, I’m pretty sure the sport/hobby of golf wouldn’t exist without it.

Look at all these mouth-breathers on Twitter yapping about their disgust towards Johnson. What a bunch of bullshit. Let the man play golf and dip in peace. Here are some angry tweets via the fine work of Big Lead Sports:

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