“Hey TJ, how would you describe Mike Tyson in three words?” “Uh…I can’t.” “Hmmm, interesting choices.”
Why can’t I describe Mike Tyson in three words? Because I don’t understand him. A person can’t describe a concept they don’t understand. That’s why I never talk about space or love or The Matrix movies. I don’t even understand them on a basic level. Sure, I enjoy all three of them, but if you put a gun to my head and told me to actually explain them, I’d pull the trigger myself. And this is my issue with Tyson. I know he’s one of the greatest boxers of all-time, but he also always seems to be unable to do anything except cause trouble and throw his celebrity status in people’s faces. Like today’s story of how he stole a $5.50 ice cream bar at the US Open.
Via New York Post:
“Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson treated a Ben & Jerry’s kiosk at the US Open like it was his own freezer — reaching in and snagging an ice cream bar before strolling off without paying, multiple sources told The Post. But it was the Brooklyn-born bruiser’s celebrity status and tough-guy image that prevented him from getting creamed by US Open officials.
“I was like, ‘Are you serious? Am I imagining this?’ (Tyson) was like, ‘I feel like having an ice cream’ and he just took it,” said one stunned worker, adding, “What are you going to do, fight him? He’s Mike Tyson.”
Side note: If a Ben & Jerry’s employee threw a punch at Mike Tyson, I’d personally pay for their medical bills.
Tyson, 50, allegedly socked it to the stand inside Arthur Ashe Stadium as he walked through the Club Level area before Novak Djokovic took to Stadium Court to win his first-round match against Jerzy Janowicz in four sets. The troubled brawler lifted the lid of the freezer stand, scooped out the $5.50 “Half Baked” ice cream bar and strolled off without paying for it, the witnesses said.
The female worker behind the stand yelled, “Excuse me, are you going to pay for that,” but Tyson just ignored her and kept walking, according to the witnesses. The worker then asked her superior what she should do, but her boss couldn’t care less, saying, “Oh, it’s Mike Tyson, let it go,” said one witness.
After polishing off the chocolate-covered treat, Tyson mugged for the cameras with singer Jewel and actor Alex Baldwin in the Presidential Suite overlooking Stadium Court as other celebs sat nearby, including Anna Wintour, Vera Wang and Debra Messing.”
Mike ‘Humble Brag’ Tyson. Trying to put out a few fires, Tyson’s publicist released this statement:
“There was a misunderstanding,” she said. “Mike got the ice cream and was going to have the host pay for it as he was running around with his family. He was being pulled in a lot of directions as his daughter, Milan, is a rising tennis star and huge fan of the sport. … His host, [USTA national manager] David Slade, got the money from Mike and has made sure the bill has been taken care of.”
“He didn’t steal anything. He just assumed that someone else would pay for everything he took without asking.” Way to really save some face for the champ there. This just puts me back to Square One on the whole ‘Do I Understand Tyson’ thing. Because I still don’t. And honestly, I’m not sure if I ever will.