Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
What was worse?Brady’s clock management or Brady’s slide?
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) January 21, 2013
Ty Cobb loved the slide, so…
I am truly sorry for everyone today who experienced their team not winning. But in a way they did because they’re all rich & date models.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) January 21, 2013
Thanks for the reminder.
It’s not that the Patriots are arrogant or Brady is vain & spoiled or that Belichik is an asshole its… No actually it is that.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 21, 2013
And that’s just part of it.
What’s most impressive about James Franco is the number of different things he’s not that good at.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) January 21, 2013
Someone is not a big James Franco fan.
i accidentally deleted an app and now there is a blank space and i don’t know what it was AND I AM FREAKING OUTLKJSDLDSGLKJDSGLDSGLSDKLG;
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 22, 2013
A dynasty is not measured by rings but by the amount of fear your opponent has for you and he knows you know
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 22, 2013
Actually, Jose, I think it is about the rings.
Beyonce lip-synching!? Shocking-Sad What can we believe in? What’s next O’Reilly revealed as a liberal? My mustache exposed as a prosthetic?
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) January 22, 2013
Don’t even joke about the mustache, Geraldo.
Those that can…do. Those that can’t… lip sync.
— Doreen Taylor (@DoreenTaylor) January 22, 2013
Cat fight!! C’mon, cat fight!
I love Maps
— Russell Crowe (@russellcrowe) January 23, 2013
Is her trying to get cast in Anchorman?
If a sneeze really is 1/8 of an orgasm, I should get at least a 20 minute break every 8 sneezes. This is bullshit.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) January 23, 2013
He has a point.
Where can one (me) buy a Pump Bra, fashioned from old Reebok Pumps? Don’t even TELL me it doesn’t exist.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) January 23, 2013
If she finds out, I volunteer to pump it up for her.
Seeing Bill and Hillary together at Obama’s inauguration reminded me that the last time I saw them together was at Bill’s inauguration.
— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) January 23, 2013
Seriously. Are they even still married?
Congratulations Matt Damon on your new hair plugs. They’re barely noticeable.
— Julie Bowen (@itsJulieBowen) January 23, 2013
Actually tweeted by Jimmy Kimmel who highjacked her account and led to this.
Almost every television network wants me badly—but I stay loyal to @nbc.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 23, 2013
Crystal Clear would be a badass name for an albino stripper.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 23, 2013
It really would.
Steampunks are the sci-fi Amish.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 23, 2013
Do they ride in slow-moving steam-powered wagons?
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) January 23, 2013
No comment necessary.
If I’m attracted to a lady, it’s pretty much a given that she is attracted to me too, right? Because of science?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) January 24, 2013
Tonight Katie Couric is expected to break the news to Manti that Madea is actually Tyler Perry.
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 24, 2013
Wait, she is?
If you want something to be misinterpreted, post it on the Internet.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 24, 2013
The voice of Charlie Brown was arrested for stalking. Man, is he going to rack up those 5 cent psychiatrist fees.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 24, 2013
Lucy is going to clean up.
The U.S. Marine Band confirmed that Beyoncé lip-synced the National Anthem. Interesting…I thought it was just her pregnancy she faked.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) January 24, 2013
Sorry, but poor old Manti is a completely deluded, ridiculously naive knucklehead. Someone has to say it.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 24, 2013
He’s right. Someone had to say that.
If you honk at me before I’m done ordering I’ll get out my car, put my penis on your windshield n sing Amazing Grace slowly as possible
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) January 25, 2013
Duly noted, Ochocinco. Duly noted.