Cops Are Looking for a Couple Who Fucked Behind a Dumpster at a Grotto’s Pizza in Newark, Del. on St. Paddy’s Day

Sunday morning, this photo came into our general inbox. I was working at the time, and because I am an IDIOT, never posted it. (There was a long debate about whether we should post it, and with what blacked out, and by the time it was resolved, I’d forgotten about it. I have the memory of a squirrel.)

It’s a couple—fucking doggystyle—behind a Grotto’s Pizza in Newark, Delaware, on the Saturday before St. Patrick’s Day. Props to them. They were probably PRETTY hemmed up. But it was nice out and why not fuck outside? It’s like fucking inside, but outdoors.

Now, though, the plot thickens, as police want the couple arrested. From CBS Philadelphia:

Police say the two suspects were captured by cell phone video and photos allegedly “engaging in sexual intercourse” in public, “in plain view of numerous passers-by.” According to police, video was posted on various social media websites.

Suspect #1 is described by police as a college aged white male with brown hair. He was last seen wearing a green button down shirt, khaki pants and brown boots.

Suspect #2 is described by police as a college aged white female with blonde hair. She was last seen wearing a green short sleeve t-shirt, jean shorts, brown cowboy boots and glasses.

That would be an accurate description of the two. But what’s the crime?

Engag[ing] in a “lewd act” in public.

That, too, seems accurate. If you’d like to turn them in, contact … ha ha, fuck that. Don’t turn them in.