The Crowd That Greeted Alabama As They Returned Home After Their Title Loss Is The Sorriest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

ALABAMA FAITHFUL STAND UP! I’m not sure if people were given the wrong address or Alabama residents don’t own motor vehicles, probably a little of both, but I haven’t seen a poorer showing since my WNBA preseason watch party. For those of you losers who didn’t show up, Lisa Leslie had a GAME. Your loss.

But I mean, look at this. I’ve snorted longer lines than this one. It’s safe to say there’s not going to be a parade through the dirt roads of Alabama to honor their coveted team for its part in an instant classic.

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This piss poor showing shouldn’t be that surprising when you consider how pathetic it is to wait in a parking lot to watch a bunch of 18 year olds get off a bus. The only bus I’m waiting on is the bang bus and I’ll slow jerk it in the parking lot for days until my number is called.

UPDATE: I just wrote this entire post before remembering that there was a hostage situation on the Alabama campus yesterday, which probably affected the turn out. Regardless, kind of a bitch move to be unwilling to die to watch your team walk off a bus.

[h/t Total Pro Sports]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.