This CU-Boulder Beachapolooza Party Video Features A Plethora Of Bums And Breasts If That’s Your Thing

I feel kind of awkward that you’re reading this with a stiffy. Tuck it in your waistband, dude. Oh God, now I can see your mushroom tip. Are those chicken pox? Signing off. Have a nice night.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.