Whichever University Of Texas Bro Stole Over 100 Human Brains, Well Played

There are pranks and then there are feats of prankery so impressive in size, scope and what-the-fucked-ness they make a person just head shake.

University of Texas at Austin is missing 100 human brains. Not one. Not a couple. Not a whole box. A hundred brains.

The University of Texas at Austin is missing about 100 brains — about half of the specimens the university had in a collection of brains preserved in jars of formaldehyde.

“We think somebody may have taken the brains, but we don’t know at all for sure,” psychology Professor Tim Schallert, co-curator of the collection, told the Austin American-Statesman.

You think? You think somebody took them? You can’t just misplace one hundred brains in jars. I think it’s safe to say those things got lifted.

His co-curator, psychology Professor Lawrence Cormack, said, “It’s entirely possible word got around among undergraduates and people started swiping them for living rooms or Halloween pranks.”

These two men seem really laid back about the fact human brains are scattered all over campus. “Eh, some has ’em, they’ll turn up. When’s lunch?”

So what about the rest of the loot, the brains that remain?

The 100 remaining brains at the school have been moved to the Norman Hackerman Building, where they are being scanned with high-resolution resonance imaging equipment, Cormack said.

Jesus Christ, why don’t you just draw people a map?!? “The rest are over here! Come steal them here!”

I think two other people on University of Texas at Austin campus are missing brains.