Oh, to have a major that requires you to take little to no finals at the end of every semester. Journalism, Communications, Fine Arts and a slew of other majors are the envy of ever Pre-Med, Engineering and Physics major this side of your university quad. I wish I had sympathy, but I’m just too distracted by all this free time!
But what to do between now and your summer job? Or actual career, for that matter? Well, the possibilities are endless.
1. Rediscover your favorite video games from your childhood.
Were you like me and at some point in high school you felt that it was inappropriate to continue playing Pokémon? My, what a fool I was. One of the best decisions I ever made was buying a used GameBoy Advance and Pokémon: Crystal Version from eBay once I came to my senses in college. Hours and hours of relived childhood memories and mastering the game that my childhood self was terrible at. I also recently rediscovered RolleCoaster Tycoon. Just because we all played it in between episodes of CatDog and Rocket Power doesn’t mean it’s just a kids a game. Now please excuse me, the ferris wheel is broken and my roller coaster just exploded.
2. Apply for jobs.
I’m kidding.
3. Write the next great American novel
She was a beautiful girl, but the kind that made you question everything about yourself. How could one person make me feel so many things all at once? I didn’t know it at the time, but Lindsey Pappalano would make my summer entirely consequential.
Or something like that. You’re in college, you’re living life, right? Fire up your nearest laptop, pop a squat in your campus Starbucks and just tap into the zeitgeist, bro.
4. Finally get around to watching The Wire
Instead of just pretending to be a TV snob who prefers serious drama to reruns of Family Guy, you can actually become one!
5. Tap into the GoPro craze a little too late but while there’s still a chance to end up on BroBible
Ok, we’ve had a GoPro video of a selfie taken once a day for three years, a GoPro video of a cliff jump gone wrong, a mountain biking GoPro video, and a scuba diving GoPro video of a shark. What are you waiting for? Attach a GoPro to the nearest moving object and let your moderate internet fame just roll right in.
6. Play ultimate Frisbee in the nearest public area wearing a tank top and neon sunglasses
Natch.
7. Make a bunch of edible water bottles
How dare you continue to degrade the environment through the use of plastic water bottles for one more second? We’re in the middle of a climate crisis and all you can think about is playing Pokémon and making Go Pro videos? Make Bill Nye proud and do your part to reduce, bro.
Dylan Connell is a college bromo who aspires to be the next Don Draper. Find his blog here, and follow him on Twitter.