I'm a brother of a fraternity at the University of Maryland. I thought someone at your site might appreciate an email me and my housemates recently received from our landlord. Long story short, the tenants of my house are all savages who used the house for our frat parties leaving a wake of destruction and thousands of dollars in damages. When our landlord inspected the house for the first time she basically torn us all new assholes and told us if we didn't fix all the problems in the house by the next inspection there would be serious consequences. Well……we kinda never got around to doing that and continued to host 4-5 parties a week resulting in this email:
We followed up about the extent of the damage. Here's what they said:
All of the walls were cracked and destroyed, almost every window broken, all the the support beams cracked from the amount of people we had in the house during parties, chocolate syrup all over the ceiling from our christmas party, dried beer and wine stains on all of the ceilings/walls, dried puke all over the basement floor, etc.
YES YES YES! This is going to be awesome, right? An e-mail from a pissed off angry College Park landlord?! Better not disappoint! But ultimately, it did:
Hello Tenants & Guarantors
Tenants, I sent the message below on May 16th, and asked that you correct the violations that caused the property to fail the annual city inspection. As you are aware, I sent an e-mail prior to the inspection with a detailed list of what needed to be done to ensure that the house would pass the inspection. Not only did you disregard the initial email that was sent, you also disregarded the e-mail below. I went by the property yesterday, and the current condition is ten times worse now then it was during the initial inspection. I will forward pictures of the state of the property under separate cover.
All of you made a decision to rent a property off campus, with this decision comes extra responsibility, and a level maturity that clearly you were not prepared for, which is shown by the current state of the property. You all trashed, and disrespected the property as if it were your own to do so.
Prior to you moving in the maintenance crew and I made sure that you would have a clean and sanitary place to live. We had the house freshly painted, floors refinished, and the house deep cleaned. Jimmy and I always make sure that we turn over a property in a manner that we would want our own children to reside in. As of now the property is only suitable for the bugs, and rodents that have taken up residence due to the trash that is piled up in the kitchen, dirty dishes throughout the house, and dirty laundry etc. that appears to have been abandoned in the property. According to Chris, all of you have gone home for the summer except for one person, that will be popping in and out. At this point we have no choice but, to have the house cleaned at your expense, as there is no way, that the property will pass the city inspection, and we will not be able to renew our rental permit.
Thank you very much,
Yawn. Sorry for partying, cool story, Bro?
Well that wasn't fun, funny, or creative at all. The landlord seems genuinely pissed — and perhaps rightfully so — that some fraternity destroyed his property. Have fun with paying for that.
Remember, if you have an awesome fraternity or sorority e-mail, foward it along to BroBible here anonymously and confidentially.