Purchase The First Ever 3-D Printed Home In Long Island For Just $300,000 And Celebrate With The World’s First 3-D Printed Ribeye Steak

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It seems as if 3D printing biology is a little advanced for a society that hasn’t figured out a better male contraception than condoms and cannot distribute a vaccine without Real Housewives-level institutional drama.

But ok. I guess I’ll pull down my N95 to eat a 3D ribeye in makeshift outdoor seating.

Bloomberg is reporting that Aleph Farms Ltd. has cultivated a ribeye steak using three-dimensional “bio-printing” and real cow cells.

Working with the faculty of biomedical engineering at the Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, Aleph Farms made the “world’s first slaughter-free ribeye steak,” the company said Tuesday in a statement. The firm’s technology prints living cells that are incubated to grow, differentiate and interact to acquire the texture and qualities of a real steak.

“It incorporates muscle and fat similar to its slaughtered counterpart,” Aleph Farms said, adding that the product boasts the same attributes “of a delicious tender, juicy ribeye steak you’d buy from the butcher.”

Aleph Farms claims it can now produce any type of steak and plans to expand its portfolio of 3D printed meats. I can’t believe I just typed the phrase “3D printed meats” before “rubberless condoms.” The universe has a sense of humor.

The news comes just days after news broke that a Long Island three-bedroom, two-bathroom house made of 3-D printed cement was selling for $300,000, priced 50% below the cost of comparable newly constructed homes in the same area.

Karl-Josef Hildenbrand/picture alliance via Getty Images)

Fuck it, how about a boat?

By 2025, 3D printed will be the new organic. Book it.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.