Bartender Of 10 Years Says Her Biggest Opps Are Always Bar Regulars. There’s 1 Thing They Always Get Wrong About Her Job: ‘They’re Lonely For A Reason’

A bartender who has a decade in the business divulged why she thinks it’s best to leave lonely bar regulars be. She calls them the “biggest opps.”

“I’ve been a bartender on and off for the last 10 years. Your biggest opp is always going to be a bar regular,” TikToker @sclub7 starts in the clip, which has over 300,000 views. “And it sucks to say that because bar regulars are so cool. But it’s always the lonely bar regular. OK?”

In her experience, male regulars usually feel entitled to a bartender’s time and consideration. “This person is getting no attention from anywhere else in their life. So they’re about to make you their center of attention. And they’re about to assume that your time at your job is always, always theirs,” she remarks.

She says she has had to explain to regulars the difference between getting a drink served and psychological help.

“This is customer service. This isn’t therapy. I’m giving you a drink, and I’m going about my day. And it’s sad because you can tell. Like, after the two- or three-month mark of them coming in, seeing you every single shift,” she says, explaining that this is when the customers get far too comfortable for her liking.

Following this, she shares an anecdote about a situation she found particularly troubling. “It was so bad, y’all. I had this guy, literally, this week, get frustrated with me—like, genuinely upset because I forgot that he drove a Corvette. Like, almost physical that I forgot what car he drives,” she says.

She says she and this bar regular were “cool” in the past, but he made things “weird” by assuming her time belongs to him.

She ends her video with some advice for her fellow bartenders, saying, “They set that system up. It is not your duty to save them from the life that they have literally made for themselves. They are lonely for a reason. Give them their drink and let them be.”

Should Bartenders Double As Therapists?

More than a few people would maintain that blowing off some steam at a bar beats crying on a leather chair in front of someone with a PHD for hundreds of dollars. Bartenders doubling as psychiatrists was covered by Art of the Cocktail, which unequivocally declares that “bartenders make the best therapists.”

And here’s the reasoning: “This is emotional labor, and it’s baked into the job. Most bartenders will tell you they don’t mind it—many even cherish the connection—but it takes a toll, especially when guests confuse service with servitude. As one longtime bartender put it: ‘We’re not just serving drinks. We’re absorbing a lot more than people realize.'”

Conversely, there are others who believe it’s important for clients to know the difference between someone serving alcohol and emotional support. Proof writes, “Here’s the truth: your bartender is not your therapist, your date, or your servant. They’re professionals working in a high-pressure environment, often multitasking under time constraints. While many are excellent conversationalists, they’re not obligated to engage beyond the scope of hospitality. Avoid: Oversharing personal drama unprompted.”

Bartenders Weigh In

Bartenders shared their thoughts on regulars in the comments section of the TikToker’s clip.

“ALWAYS REMEMBER: When you have a new regular out of the blue its bc he can’t go back to his old spot,” one wrote.

“I hate all regulars idc,” another wrote.

“I will die on this hill. A single man regular, no matter his age, is going to take the most amount of time & energy from you, they will say inappropriate things & then tip you $3 after 3 hours. It should be illegal,” a third shared.

BroBible has reached out to @sclub7 via TikTok direct message for further comment.