iStockphoto / Koldunova_Anna
It’s Father’s Day this weekend. But I’m sure you already knew that because you aren’t the type of person to wait until the last minute to get dad a gift. Wait, you are? I’ve got you covered with this roundup of Gifts Dad Actually Wants For Father’s Day. But that’s not what we’re here to talk about, we’re here for the #DadJokes.
Jimmy Fallon tweeted out a message asking his followers to use the hashtag #DadQuotes to share something weird or funny their dad has said over the years. The responses have been spectacular.
I’m sure that Fallon will turn these responses into a clip on his TV show like he usually does but we can skip that and go straight to the tweets. Jimmy kicked it off by sharing one of his own which wasn’t really all that great but the responses were much better:
My friend’s dad used to make us put shoes on when there was a thunderstorm cuz he heard that "if we're barefoot the whole family could get electrocuted." #DadQuotes
— Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon) June 12, 2019
Dad Jokes don’t wait on illness.
My grandfather, sitting in the post op room after having glaucoma surgery with me, a nurse and my grandmother. I see his zipper is down and tell him that it's down. At 80 years old, doesn't miss a beat, and just replies with "What can't get up, can't get out" #dadquotes
— Joseph M. (@UCF_RosenKnight) June 12, 2019
I have to wonder how often the employees at the Apple Store get this question:
(When my dad got his first smart phone) "Hey Heather, when does the App Store open?" #DadQuotes
— Heather Rou (@HeatherRou) June 12, 2019
See, this is a dad joke I completely missed out on growing up in Florida where it snowed one time in my entire childhood.
https://twitter.com/Allie_Doc/status/1138829539948322818
The best dad jokes are told on the fly.
@jimmyfallon #DadQuotes The other day we saw someone sniff a coupon. My dad looked at me, dead serious, and said “That’s how you know the coupon’s still good.”
— Justin Bush (@Justin_BQuinnic) June 12, 2019
Flipping off lights around the house when I was a kid, “I work at a power plant, I don’t own one” #DadQuotes
— Patina A (@TinaTock) June 12, 2019
This dad is a genius.
https://twitter.com/Dlynn11272338/status/1138828257502121984
Solid parenting here.
When I was in third grade, we were moving to a new house and I was devastated. I was crying so hard and I asked my dad why we had to move. He responded with, “Because you always leave your towels on the floor.” I’ve hung up my towels every day since. #DadQuotes
— Bethany Chapman (@bethany_loggins) June 12, 2019
My dad asked one time who that female Canadian singer was. “Celine Dijon ?” No dad🤦🏼♀️ #DadQuotes
— Julianna Underwood (@jamhunter4) June 12, 2019
I cannot wait to embarrass my son with this one at the beach in front of his friends.
Every time we're at the beach and one of us goes into the water my dad will without fail ask "How's the water? Wet?" #dadquotes
— Eleanor Kennedy (@eleanorkennedy) June 12, 2019
https://twitter.com/craig_mcnabb/status/1138841698774261761
Solid response.
https://twitter.com/acroninja/status/1138825486186950656
When people at stores or restaurants ask my Dad “how are you?” Or “how’s it going?” His response is always “teetering on the brink of magnificence” ALL. THE. TIME. #DadQuotes
— Niki Rydell (@plhsecon) June 12, 2019
This dad sounds like he’s really fun at parties:
My dad was Philly cop & worked different shifts, this is what he would tell us before he went to sleep… "I want it quiet in here, so quiet you can hear a mouse piss on cotton and if he farts it better roll through here like a cannon".
— Cynthia Smith (@Csluv568Smith) June 12, 2019
My dad also did this. Dads are the best.
My dad used to take me and my friends out for ice cream. On the ride home he would always ask “How does your ice cream smell?” And when my friends went to take a sniff he’d hit the brakes. 🍦#DadQuotes
— Molly D. (@donovmo) June 12, 2019
As I mentioned above, you’ve still got time to get dad the perfect gift. I put together this list of 50 Gifts Dad Actually Wants For Father’s Day to save you some time. You don’t need to buy anything from that if you don’t want to, you can just use it for inspiration, or not, whatever floats your boat.