Men and boys of all ages: We’ve all been at a bar or school dance and had the inescapable urge to approach a lady, knowing whole-heartedly that living with the regret of wussing out will greatly outweigh the momentary rejection. Your friend is in your ear repeating the phrase “What’s the worst that can happen?” You run through every worst-case scenario in your head: slipping on a banana peel on the way over, her highlighting your inner-most insecurities, her boyfriend walking into the picture and cold-cocking you in the schnoz, the list goes on.
I bet none of us have ever imagined a rejection quite like the one a man experienced at the Dan Crenshaw for Congress election soiree.
***WARNING: This video contains an excess of cringe and not suitable for sensitive viewers.***
What could this substitute history teacher-looking dude have said to warrant this reaction? This is
Here are 6 things this substitute history teacher may have said to warrant this reaction:
1. “I’ve got an extra ticket to the Little Wayne concert, fellow kid.”
2. “Would you like to see the backseat of my Buick Century while I play Bob Seger’s Night Moves on the cassette player?”
3. “If I can trust my heart to Lipitor, you can trust yours to me.”
4. “Whattaya say we ditch this stuffy political soiree and head back to my place so I can show you my poll.”
5. “My Jimmy Buffett cover band is playing at Applebee’s after this. Ditch your friend and I’ll buy you an app.”
6. “My favorite pizza is Hawaiian.”
The only consolation I can offer this dude is that every one of us has been brutally rejected. The only difference is ours wasn’t caught on camera for the world to see. Life’s a bitch.