Colombian Government Recommends People Masturbate During Coronavirus Pandemic

Colombian government advises citizens to masturbate during the coronavirus pandemic, Malaysian government tells wives not to nag husbands.

iStockphoto / dima_sidelnikov

Last week, the New York City Health Department provided some sex tips as to what you should and should not do during the coronavirus pandemic. Now the Colombian government has issued COVID-19 advice on how to reduce the chances of contracting the deadly respiratory disease while still getting intimate.

Having sex during the coronavirus pandemic can be a touchy subject, but the Colombian government has some sex tips that might come in handy. The country’s health department recommends that people use hand-to-gland combat to help flatten the curve, a strategy we all should have seen coming.

The Colombian government urged its citizens to masturbate during the coronavirus lockdown to stop the spread of the deadly disease. The guidelines laid out by the country’s health ministry read: “Auto-erotism is an option. There are ways of having sex pleasure that do not involve direct contact with other people.” On one hand, it feels good, and on the other it is safe. So give yourself a hand if you’re doing the knuckle shuffle and aren’t spreading the coronavirus.

Self-love is definitely hard to beat when it comes to not being exposed to COVID-19. While the coronavirus is not spread sexually, people still are at risk from kissing and close contact during sexy times.

“We know that other coronaviruses are not transmitted efficiently through sex,” the guideline said. “Remember that COVID is transmitted through intimate contact with another person and that saliva can transmit it.” So you need to get a hold of yourself.

“If you use sex toys, be sure to wash them with soap and water,” the guidelines added. Cleanliness is next to godliness, so make sure to wash your nipple clamps.

“Avoid practices that carry such risk,” the health advisory stated. “Make a decision that promotes individual and partner health and wellness. Abstinence can be a valid alternative while the crisis lasts.”

“The safest partner is the partner with whom you live. Having close contact – including sex – with the smallest number of people helps prevent the spread of COVID-19. Always have consensual relationships.”

“Close contact, including sex, with anyone outside your home should be avoided,” the guideline continued. “If you have sex with other people, minimize the number of partners.”

“If you generally meet your sexual partners online or make a living from sex, consider putting off dating in person,” the Colombian government advised. “Virtual dating may be an option.”

Colombia currently has over 1,100 confirmed cases and 19 deaths from the coronavirus. Colombian citizens are in a stay-at-home lockdown until April 13.

One Amazon employee disagrees that people should buy new sex toys to masturbate with. The worker said that Amazon should close their warehouses if they are out of stock of essential products and shouldn’t be selling non-essential items such as… dildos.

Keep safe out there.


Paul Sacca has written on a myriad of topics ranging from breaking news to movies to technology to men's interests for nearly a decade. His articles have been cited in numerous media powerhouses such as USA Today, New York Daily News, New York Post, CNN, Sports Illustrated, Huffington Post, Deadspin, and The Big Lead.