This Dissolvable Heartburn Tablet Will Allow You To Eat, Drink, And Be Merry During Football Sundays This Fall

by 2 years ago


This post is sponsored by Mirum but the opinions expressed here are our own.

It’s been nearly six months but our long, national nightmare is almost over. We are on the precipice of the upcoming football season and I don’t know about you, but I can only watch my 2005 high school football highlight reel so many times before I grow my braces back and get paralyzing anxiety around females.

But football season isn’t just about plopping down in front of the television. It’s about plopping down in front of the television with good-natured people and a spread of food fit for an offensive line—buffalo chicken dip, pigs in a blanket, garlic parmesan wings—with a few cold brewskis to wash it all down.

It literally warms my heart just thinking about it.

But after 30 euphoric minutes, that warm fuzzy feeling in my chest turns into a demonic spirit doing backflips in my esophagus.

So what do I do? Refuse help, fight back the stress tears, pound my chest like Tarzan, and involuntarily contort my face like someone just ripped a rancid fart on an elevator until all my friends leave from second-hand discomfort. Why fix the problem when you can let it ruin your night because you’re too prideful to admit when you’re in the basement of hell? Ah, the pitfalls of being a man.

Last season was a wakeup call for me. I don’t know if it’s my age or my insatiable gluttony for spicy foods, but my heartburn got so intense at times, I considered getting my affairs in order. Entire halves of football were marred by hot lava taking my chest hostage, countless touchdowns missed, too many beers left abandoned.

The definition of insanity is eating the same foods over and over and expecting a different result. This football season, I have promised myself to take action against heartburn with the help of a conveniently dissolvable Omeprazole Orally Disintegrating Tablet.

Omeprazole allows heartburn sufferers to bypass the pricey heartburn pills that require us to take a handful of pills each day and allows us to take a once-daily, dissolvable tablet that provides lasting heartburn relief for up to 24 hours. Hell, you don’t even need to wash it down with a glass of water, as the new MELTech formula allows the tablet to dissolve on your tongue easily. (And it’s deliciously strawberry-flavored so you won’t be dry-heaving when it hits your tongue.)

Although some may experience immediate relief, the Omeprazole Orally Disintegrating Tablet is designed to cater to frequent heartburn sufferers and may take 1-4 days to fully demonstrate its capabilities. One dose taken every 24 hours for 14 days is the full course of treatment and you shouldn’t take the medication for more than 14 days, or more often than every four months, unless directed by your doctor. The full regimen should provide long-lasting relief.

Bros, don’t be like 2017 me. Don’t let heartburn hijack your Sundays. Literally all it takes is popping a small pill on your tongue daily to dodge the discomfort from reflux, GERD, or other heartburn-related symptoms. If you aren’t up to shoulder that responsibility, I’m guessing heartburn is the least of your problems.

To find Omeprazole Orally Disintegrating Tablets at a store near you, check out the store locator.

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