There were a lot of times when Entourage was fun. It was good at times. It was great a handful of times. And, of course, it was just okay at times. But the enduring legacy of the show was that it was a fun show, other adjectives be damned.

It was fun when the guys were hanging out and it was fun when someone was talking on the phone and ended the call with a terse “fix it” and then hung up. It was fun when things worked out for the dudes at the last minute and it was fun when it didn’t, especially when the person in question was Johnny Drama. It was fun when they celebrated by buying motorcycles and it was fun when they received art lessons from Gary Busey.

However, Entourage might have been the most fun when they were talking about one of Vince’s movies. The show seemed to be at it’s best when a project was in development and was being talked about constantly when Vincent was chasing it and eventually landed it. Entourage made you excited about movies that didn’t exist and in turn, kind of made you wish they did exist.

But what if they did exist?

It’s one thing to pine for something that’s an appealing fiction, but if one of Vince’s films were actually out in theaters, how likely would you be to go see it?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Head On

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Vincent Chase’s breakthrough role and it’s a movie about, uh…going head on to something?

Really all we know about the movie is that it was a crime thriller/mystery in which Vince co-starred with Jessica Alba, who I’m pretty sure let him stay at her house later on. That was really nice of her. A questionable decision given Vince’s lifestyle but a nice gesture nonetheless.

While we don’t know much about the movie, I think we can make some assumptions based on the title of the movie and the genre.

I’m going to therefore assume that Vince plays a cop. Or he plays a detective. Either way, he plays someone who is looking to get to the bottom of the crime that is the “crime” part of the crime thriller/mystery label the movie has.

I would also venture to guess that when approaching the case, he doesn’t hold back. He goes right for it.

He—wait for it—tackles it…head on.

Bottom Line: A crime thriller/mystery is generally a pretty safe bet and even bad ones can be entertaining.

Verdict: Let’s go

Queen’s Boulevard

Vincent Chase is RUNNING FROM THE LAW.

That. Is. Awesome.

He’s also running from the law in Queens and you can’t go wrong there. Can we make sure that they release the black and white version, though? That version definitely seems like the better one.

I mean, I’d still be down to see it if it’s in color, but give me the grimy feel that comes with a black and white movie set in New York City.

Bottom Line: Again, we’re talking about a man on the run from the law.

Verdict: Of course 

Aquaman

It’s kind of a tough draw here, because unless you’ve forgotten, they made an Aquaman movie and you know, it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t good either, but what’s important, especially in light of other DC Movies (Wonder Woman being the exception) is that it wasn’t a poorly lit, obnoxiously loud dumpster fire.

Points for being okay!

How would an Aquaman movie be different with Vince as the star and James Cameron directing a script written by Andrew Kevin Walker, whose credits include Se7en and Sleepy Hollow?

Dude, that’s kind of a weird mix.

Vince definitely isn’t Jason Momoa and chances are Vince’s take on Aquaman would be more on par with the traditional take on the character as opposed to Momoa’s, which definitely wasn’t.

James Cameron can create a world (we all know that) but would that world mesh with Walker’s script, a script that (at least based on his previous work) could be on the darker and more brooding side?

Bottom Line: I have no idea what to make of this one.

Verdict: Eh, might pass. Thanks for asking though.

Medellin

There’s some factors that need to be considered here and yes, the most important factor is that this movie was considered to be terrible. It was a bomb in every sense of the word. Richard Roeper of The Chicago Sun-Times said, “it “makes [Vincent] look like the love child of Jiminy Glick and a case of Twinkies.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go down a Jiminy Glick YouTube rabbit hole. I’ll be right back.

Medellin was rough business for both Vince and Billy Walsh, the writer and director of Queens Boulevard, who was brought on to direct and subsequently lost his mind during the filming and even more so when the reviews started coming in.

Billy disappeared for a couple seasons before reemerging as a minister of sorts while Vince had to run away to an island to regroup and it took a few years to get the stink of the movie off of him so he could have a career again.

This was Vince’s baby. My dude sold his house in order to buy the script. He bailed on the sequel to Aquaman to make it. He gave up superhero movie money, kid. That’s some of the best money there is next to pro baseball player money and money you find in between the couch cushions.

Another factor is that at this point there are so many other Pablo Escobar projects to compete with.

We had the first two season of Narcos, which really got the job done. If that wasn’t enough, there was the ESPN documentary The Two Escobars, portrayals of Escobar by Benecio Del Toro (Escobar: Paradise Lost) and Javier Bardem (Loving Pablo) and movies that existed in Escobar’s orbit like The Infiltrator and American Made.

So yeah, I think we’re good when it comes to Escobar movies.

Bottom Line: No really, I think we’re good.

Verdict: Hard pass

Smoke Jumpers

Let’s set aside the fact that this movie was never finished and instead, let us proceed as if it was. Let’s pretend there weren’t issues between Vince and the director that became so destructive and became such a distraction that production on the film, which was about firefighters battling “the largest forest fire in Oregon history,” was halted halfway through.

Ignoring that painful reality, let us instead imagine that Vince and the director were able to resolve their differences (or at least set them aside) and Smoke Jumpers was released.

Smoke Jumpers sounds dope as hell, man. Even the name sounds cool. If I were in a band and that band needed a name, I’d make the case for Smoke Jumpers. Or The Smoke Jumper. Or Smoke Jumper. I’ll have to get back to you on this one. I’ll also have to form a band. So many things to do!

Edward Norton co-stars in the movie and Edward Norton is fantastic. I’m all in on Ed effin’ Norton leading a group of firefighters into the biggest blaze they’ve ever seen. The conversations these dudes would have the night before is worth the price of admission alone.

Do you remember Backdraft?

Backdraft was about firefighters and Backdraft was the shit.

Smoke Jumpers could be the best firefighter movie since Backdraft, and if Smoke Jumpers were to ever get made and I saw it and felt the same way, the filmmakers could definitely use that quote when promoting the movie. You have my word.

Bottom Line: You had me at “the largest forest fire in Oregon history.”

Verdict: Let’s goooooooooooo Smoke Jumpers!

Gatsby

Okay, just like with Aquaman, we have a real-life parallel here, as we just had a Gatsby movie a couple years ago. That movie was cool. I’m not dying to see it again, but I didn’t mind seeing it once.

The difference here is that the Entourage version of The Great Gatsby adaption is set in modern-day. Hey, they could use the soundtrack from that recent Gatsby if they wanted to. It didn’t really make sense for that one, but it could for a modern stab at the story.

Oh, and the Entourage version was directed by Martin Scorsese so let’s refresh for a second.

Gatsby was a modern-day retelling of The Great Gatsby directed by Martin Scorsese.

Vince would play Nick Carraway, so I wonder who would play Gatsby? That’s important. That Gatbsy fella, he’s kind of a big deal.

But I trust that Scorsese (and Gus Van Sant, who was a producer) would have made the right call here.

Yeah, Gus Van Sant was a producer.

No wonder this movie did so well.

Bottom Line: Dude, it’s Martin Scorsese.

Verdict: Cheers!

Ferrari

Biopics can be dicey. For every Walk the Line or Raging Bull, there’s Oliver Stone’s epic shit tornado Alexander or the ill-advised sap fest that was Robin Williams’ Patch Adams.

It’s tough. You need to find that secret sauce that is the right subject matter, the right story of said subject matter, and the right people (i.e. directors and actors) to perform the right story of said subject matter.

Oh, and you need to at least be pretty honest about things. I’m looking at you, Bohemian Rhapsody.

Ferrari was Vince’s second crack at a biopic, but at least with this one, he gets points for originality. I just checked Google and there’s not a whole lot of movies about Enzo Ferrari. Definitely not nearly as many as there are about Pablo Escobar.

Yes, there’s Ford v Ferrari, but that doesn’t count. If anything, a solid biopic about Ferrari would serve as a solid companion piece and I love companion pieces. It’s all about context, baby.

And unlike Medellin, Vince has a director with some real gravitas working on Ferrari in the form of Frank Darabont. A three-time Oscar winner, Darabont directed The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile and created The Walking Dead. I love Billy Walsh, but Billy Walsh is no Frank Darabont.

So you have an interesting subject matter, a solid director, and (we’d like to assume) a halfway decent script, plus Vincent Chase, who we are routinely told is a promising young actor, if not an incredibly talented and promising young actor.

Bottom Line: Sounds like we have that secret sauce, kid.

Verdict: Buongiorno!

The Takeover

It’s an action movie.

It’s an action movie and the director, Nick Cassavetes, insisted Vince do his own stunts and then basically Vince succumbed to peer pressure and before long was riding a motorcycle and doing coke.

Good work, Nick Cassavetes. I hope you’re happy.

That’s a lot of baggage for a movie, especially an action movie which are typically carefree affairs. I know if I’m going to go and watch an action movie, I don’t want baggage and backstory about on-set drama.

I want explosions and stupid dialogue. I want car chases and fights in improbable situations.

Most importantly, I want to watch all these things happen and not have to be bogged down by thinking about Vincent Chase developing a penchant for tempting fate and bombing coke.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m old fashioned like that.

Bottom Line: Eh, I need a little more.

Verdict: Nah, I think I’m good.

Hyde

So like, I’m not sure about this.

A lot of people liked it. It made boatloads of money. It even won awards.

But dude, I’m not sure about this one.

Bottom Line: Uh…

Verdict: I’ll wait until it’s on cable.

Thirsty for some more “Entourage” in your life? If that’s the case, you’re going to want to catch up on “Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah,” THE podcast for fans who want to relive the best (and the worst) of the show that let us live our Hollywood fantasies without having to leave the couch.