Extramarital affairs. Squabbles over finances. Decreasing attraction and/or intimacy. And now you can add Fortnite to the long list of “Reasons Why People Get Divorced.” Marriages are crumbling like the bottom chip in a Pringles canister and it is because people can’t stop playing Fortnite. “On the next episode of Maury, Samantha says her husband’s Fortnite addiction is ruining their marriage, but Mike says she needs to embrace his lifestyle.”
According to Divorce Online, a U.K. website that offers information and services people experiencing a divorce, there were over 200 divorces in the United Kingdom 2018 that were caused because of Fortnite. Fucking PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds still can’t beat Fortnite and probably only caused like 11 divorces.
“These numbers equate to roughly 5 percent of the 4,665 petitions we have handled since the beginning of the year and as one of the largest filers of divorce petitions in the UK is a pretty good indicator,” Divorce Online stated. Turns out that the one true love of many people is not their wife or husband but rather the popular battle royale video game. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Apparently, bush camping with strangers will make your wife very upset and there will be no more visits to the Moisty Mire. Maybe people should marry other people who have the same addictions? “In the divorce proceedings, Julie got the kids and the house, but Mark retained the TV and PS4, so everybody is happy.”
The moment she leaves you and you have more time to play Fortnite.
Meanwhile, Fortnite gamers be like, “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.”
Now I’m wondering how many marriages Mario Kart ruined.