Attorney General Investigating Pathetic Brooklyn Pizza Festival Being Dubbed The ‘Fyre Festival Of Pizza’
If something or someone is ever referred to as the “Fyre Festival of…,” it sucks the hardest. My lady once called me the ‘Fyre Festival of Sex’ because there was a lot of promise and not a lot of delivery. She was kidding. I hope.
In any event, a disastrous Brooklyn pizza festival is currently being dubbed the ‘Fyre Festival of Pizza’ after charging patrons $75 a head and serving them slivers of cold pizza slices at a “shady” Brooklyn parking lot, NBC New York reports. It was such a disappointing shit show that state prosecutors are launching an investigation into the event.
The event, which took place in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Bushwick on Saturday, was promoted as a “day long celebration of the dough, cheese, tasty sauces and delicious toppings,” but ended up being a collection of near-empty tents serving cold, tiny, pizza slices.
A dude by the name of Connell Burke attended the festival and described how pathetic it was to Gothamist.
“It was my girlfriend’s birthday so I got the VIP tickets, so I spent $150 total for the two tickets,” Burke told Gothamist. “There’s three pop-up tents to my left, one where they’re taking cold pizzas out of delivery boxes and cutting them. Those pictures don’t do it justice, because they look like they’re normal-sized plates but they’re actually cake-sized, like what you’d use for cake at a children’s birthday party. They’re small, tiny little slivers of pizza.”
Describing the photo below, Michael Redmond said, “Was supposed to start at 3, finally got in after 4 and this is what we found… a shot of all the great pizzas we sampled!”