Imagine being inside a gas station while some jackass is trying to rob it. Like, do you freak out? Do you run the hell out of there as quickly as you can? Do you hide in the beer cave to at least pound some booze before you go? Or do you persuade the thief into going to the store’s office to get some quick, little oral sex? If you’re a 36-year-old Czech woman, you absolutely choose that last option.
According to the Daily Mail, a 24-year-old man walked into a gas station the other day and attempted to rob the place, threatening workers by saying he’d kill them. When some of the employees of the store darted out a back office door, the thief moved to the vacant room to try and steal more cash from the safe — until a brave woman stepped in to save the day with her mouth.
Rather than making out with cash, the thief found some stranger making out with his junk, which was enough to distract him from leaving the gas station before cops showed up to arrest him. This. Is. Legendary.
The 24-year-old man reportedly tried to steal from the gas station on Tuesday night and threatened to kill staff, Slovakian local news reported.
The employee opened the cash register and the suspect took the money from it and punched the staff member several times. After giving the money over, the employee went to the back office where another colleague was. He was able to go out the back door and call the police.
The alleged thief then moved to the office where he attempted to get money from the safe, but the second colleague also escaped.
Local media reports an unknown woman came inside within a few seconds, and began to satisfy him orally until police arrived – who then detained the suspect.
Police told TV JOJ, they found the couple in the office half-naked and lying on the floor, and the woman said something along the lines of “I don’t take him anymore.”
Officers said the thief didn’t manage to get the money and has been taking to a police station and is being held in custody.
This honestly sounds like a scene from Super Troopers or something, doesn’t it? Like, how on earth does a guy go from robbing a gas station and all but getting away with it, to being seduced by some stranger who’s willing to give oral sex? There are dumb thieves out there, but, man, this dude has to be in the top-10. Get the money and run the hell out of there, dude!
As for the lady, kudos to you, ma’am, for not only thinking on your toes, but then performing on your knees with some quick-witted decision-making. Nobody knows why this was the method chosen to stop the robbery, but, hey, it worked to perfection. Maybe the Medal of Freedom should be in this lady’s future.