12-Year-Old Girl Heaven Fitch DESTROYS The Boys In Wrestling State Championship

Skip to the end to see this young lady flex all over her vanquished opponent.

Every so often, a woman beats the shit out of men in sports. I’ll never forget playing travel soccer. It was some tournament in Nashua, New Hampshire, and we made it to the final where our opponents were a scary group of testosterone-shooting, cigarette-smoking 12-year-olds. They wore black, just like team Iceland in D2 Mighty ducks. But the most intimidating part about them wasn’t their mustaches or their infant sons and daughters on the sidelines; it was their girl. They had a girl, and she was… magnificent. She had curly, fiery red hair, which she wore in a ponytail that bounced around as she tackled us and called the ref’s mother a bitch. Seriously though, she was by far the best player on their team. And this was TWELVE. Not nine or eight, where it was more common to see the occasional girl who was too good to play for the girls team, so she’d link up with a boys’ squad. I always wondered what happened to her: did she go on to play division 1 soccer? I haven’t seen any redheads on the USWNT, and she’d be 30 by now. Maybe she played another sport. I hope she’s well, wherever she is.

But here we have Heaven Fitch, a wrestler, running riot over the boys in the state championship. I don’t know anything about wrestling, honestly. I watch this clip and the only reason I can tell that she’s winning is because the crowd goes crazy and the dude’s legs are spinning in the air like the blades of a food processor. Either way, 11-3 feels like a pretty dominant score for a state final. Very impressive, Heaven. Well done.

As far as girls coming to play with guys goes, wrestling is probably the most ballsy. The rules read like the exact opposite of a sexual harassment guidebook. The sport is a fondlefest. You pretty much perform the Heimlich on each other for a few rounds. Obviously, if the participants and parents are ok with that, great. But credit to both Heaven and the lads she vanquished for refusing to see gender, or whatever.

I’d like to think that we’re past the days where kids would needle each other and say “You got beat by a girl!” Uh, yeah, and so did everyone else. But who knows, something tells me these kids aren’t as woke as we think they are.

Of course, some people just couldn’t help themselves…

Great, thanks for that Joe! Glad to know what you’re looking for with these two children. Christ.

Are you… are you saying that the dudes are at a disadvantage because they’re popping boners? Or because she smells better than them? Might be one of the funnier stretches I’ve ever seen on Twitter.