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Of course after a weekend where my patriotic pride was bursting out of my sweatpant waistband, I am immediately reminded that there is no hope for anything. There is no such this as progress or evolution or enlightenment. We are all just here, pooping and peeing and distracting ourselves with frivolous nonsense until we die, eventually to be forgotten in favor of other poopers and pee-ers yelling at each other to fulfill a shallow need for intellectual and moral superiority. And around and around we go.
Too bleak? Give me a break, it’s the week after a long weekend. But, in my defense, I have a point for once.
The Onion, a satirical newspaper, published an op-ed titled “Do Americans Need Air-Conditioning?”
Oh, wait. This just in.
The piece was actually written by the New York Times, a respected journalistic publication commonly referred to as “The Times” by people who say “henceforth” in spoken word.
The article brought up a topic that was brought up last year and the year before, and will be brought up until extraterrestrials descend upon us to teach us a lesson. The article claims that our intolerance of heat is a First World learned behavior and are discriminatory towards women, who get chillier easier.
Atlantic writer Taylor Lorenz ramped it up a notch on Sunday by very reasonably claiming that air conditioning is everything we use to describe the world’s worst dictators.
https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1147879487121559553
Obviously only a clinically ill person would say something like this, but give Lorenz more credit. She knew exactly what she was doing: say something idiotic, piss off the reasonable majority, and pluck out the most extreme responses to support her narrative and play “told ya so!”
https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1148042013834657792
https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/1148045387074277376
AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS?!
Please, for the sake of sanity, someone needs to set this blue check mark straight.
This is the definitive take on air-conditioning: if you are cold, you can add more clothes. If you are hot, there’s only so much you can take off.
— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) July 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/IanKarmel/status/1148099361634525184
Its sexist to not have AC because men would be uncomfortable and its sexist to have AC because women are uncomfortable.
Solution.
Set AC to 50 so everyone has to wear a sweater. Problem solved https://t.co/TF75nRyAvJ
— Tim Pool (@Timcast) July 8, 2019
Asphalt crews are hiring in Texas, if you're interestedhttps://t.co/X4VLyMQk6R
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/AlexMcDaniel/status/1148195539932057600
This might be controversial, but I think air conditioning should be run at full blast in winter, and heating at full blast in summer. Won’t be explaining this or reading replies
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) July 8, 2019
the twitter fight of the day always feels randomly selected. it's like the host on Iron Chef revealing the secret ingredient but it's air conditioning instead of scallops
— JP (@jpbrammer) July 8, 2019
Me watching this air conditioning debate in my home office rn pic.twitter.com/OWblYZXRc0
— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) July 8, 2019
it's ironic that the subject of air conditioning has produced the hottest takes
— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) July 8, 2019
I need a beer. A cold one.
[h/t Uproxx]