This Dude’s Fire Rap Song About Being A Sensitive Man Will Strike A Chord With All Bros Who Aren’t Above A Good Cry

by 5 months ago

“Deny your emotions and act like you have answers.” I think most men live by Bill Burr’s mantra. And if you don’t think so, next time you’re with your boys, try to muster up a cry. Think of your dog who passed or that scene in The Green Mile after Tom Hanks says “roll on three.” When a single tear resurrects itself from the deep annals of your neglected soul and rolls down your cheek, take note of your friends’ reactions. I can all but guarantee their faces will contort in ways you’ve never seen before. They’ll start foaming at the mouths out of pure confusion and you’ll see them actively trying to reach within themselves for a comfort or reassurance gesture that they simple don’t have in their emotional toolbox. You may actually see one of their heads explode, most likely the guy with the most muscles and who has never heard of Bon Iver.

Point is, men take a lot of shit for being insensitive and rigid, but most of us have grown up to believe that emotions and vulnerability are weaknesses that serve no practical purpose in the evolution of man. My man J. Bang, who I have never heard of until one hour ago, is bravely holding the torch for us dudes who like to drink a glass of fucking wine every now and then. The dudes who want to order a salad for lunch without feeling discriminated against. Thank you, J. Bang.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late meeting my girlfriends for brunch at this FAB spot that supposedly has top notch acai bowls.

 

 


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