Judge Judy has been as present in my household growing up as the gravity bong I hid in the basement closet before my junior prom. If I was to make a Venn Diagram of my mother and I’s television-watching habits, Judge Judy would be the only thing that hits the center. She is as stern as she is timeless. As sharp as she is sexy. I mean.
Her consistent presence has been one of the only things in life I can count on. That’s why when I learned she up and changed her hairdo in her 23rd season on the job, it turned my world upside down. That’d be like if Tom Brady decided to change his number from 12 to 16 in the twilight of his career or Guy Fieri suddenly got really into clean eats. There are some things in this world that need to be preserved for posterity. Judge Judy having a perfectly wafted perm is one of them.
I mean, look at this. It’s like I don’t even know this woman. What’s next? Bailiff Byrd growing a rat tail and wearing ripped skinny jeans? Where does it end?
Judy is worth nearly a half of a billion dollars. Sounds like it’s true what Kayne said: “I guess the money shoulda changed her. I guess she shoulda forget where she came from.”
Can’t wait to flip on Wheel of Fortune to check out Pat Sajack’s Macklemore cut.