Kevin Hart Donating 1/1 Billionth Of His Net Worth To Harvey Relief And Bragging About It Has Made Me Irrationally Angry
One of the few things I remember from college Economics class is
how to cheat using a Poland Springs water bottle that there’s no such thing as true altruism. We only give to receive some sort of tangential benefit. We make sure the bartender is looking when we drop a tip on the bar so we can get drinks quicker the next round. We raise money to run benefit 5ks so we can post about it on Facebook and best case scenario score a new profile picture. We visit our grandmothers in retirement homes not because we love them, but to secure a spot in the will.
So, when I see celebrities tout up their piousness by bragging about donating to a cause, it’s equal parts annoying and understandable.
But there’s a line.
And Kevin Hart crossed that line Monday, when he took to Instagram to make the following announcement.
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I'm calling this the Hurricane Harvey Relief Challenge….Lets go @therock @beyonce @chrisrock Jay Z Dave Chappelle @jerryseinfeild @iamsteveharveytv @justintimberlake #HurricaneHarveyReliefChallenge #prayforhouston …..I am getting a link together now people. Help me help Houston….
Can we all take a quick moment of silence for Hart’s heroic deed?
$25K! WOO! Kev, are you in the poor house now? Should I start a GoFundMe to buy you groceries? Love the caption too: “Help me help Houston.” Not “Help Houston.” Help ME help Houston. Because what really is a crisis if a celebrity can’t make it about them?
Now I’m not saying Kevin Hart’s $25,000 donation wasn’t a nice gesture. Actually, ya know what, yes I fucking am. Kevin Hart is the highest paid comedian on the planet–pulling in $87.5 million in 2016 alone. The Richest lists Hart’s net worth as $128 million.
So let’s do the math here.
Hart gave up 1/5,120 of his net worth to Hurricane Harvey relief efforts. Business Insider lists the median net worth of the average American of Hart’s age (38) to be $35,000. So, Hart’s donation is the equivalent of an average American donating $6.80 to relief efforts. How many of your Instagram followers have made a video patting themselves on the back for a six fucking dollar donation? How many articles were writing about their good deed? Oh, zero?
I’d argue that Kevin Hart is hurting the cause by letting his rich friends off the hook with his measly $25k challenge. Check this shit out.