Getty Image / Jason Kempin/Getty Images
When you go to a bar in Nashville, you expect to get sh*t-faced, but you want to get sh*t-faced figuratively. However, some patrons of a Nashville bar got sh*t-faced literally.
Fun-seekers who visited the Honky Tonk Rock ‘N Roll Steakhouse in Nashville that is owned by Kid Rock got more than they bargained for last weekend. While some may have expected a sh*tshow in Nashville at Kid Rock’s bar, they could never expect a sh*tshow of this scatalogical proportions.
According to reports, a man removed his colostomy bag at the establishment on Broadway and began swinging it at Metropolitan Nashville Police Department officers and anyone in the bar. Sh*t hit the fan.
“The defendant was outside drunk holding a bottle of beer blocking the outside emergency exit door at Kid Rock’s,” the affidavit allegedly read. “Kid Rock security told the defendant to leave … but he refused.”
“When the Metro police officers arrived to the location to assist security the defendant took out his colostomy bag from the inside of his front pants area and started to swing the bag around from left to right hitting two of the Metro police officers with his feces,” now we’ve got a real Nashville party.
“Some units and patrons have been assaulted with feces, and at least one officer has left work to change clothes,” the report stated. I mean, isn’t this the type of shenanigans you want to experience at Kid Rock’s bar and have a bitchin’ story to tell your grandkids?
What song do you think was playing as the man swung his colostomy bag like it was nunchucks? My money is on G.G. Allin’s Feces and Blood.
Somehow the story gets even more outrageous. This was reportedly the third time the man has used his colostomy bag as a helicopter. This was the third time in the last two nights that this gentleman has used his colostomy bag like a sling weapon but with doo-doo.
Never let it be said that Nashville doesn’t know how to party. pic.twitter.com/VRpkKRm8IZ
— Gretchen Peters (@gretchenpeters) May 2, 2021
dispatch also advising central was out twice with this unit tonight, keeps refusing medical; well now, he is going to jail…
— Nashville Scanner (@ScanNashville) May 1, 2021
Nashville police arrested the man for “causing a public disturbance with his colostomy bag,” according to Newsweek. Metro Nashville Police identified the man as Nicholas Newhart, and he was charged with assault on the Metro police officers, disorderly conduct, and public intoxication, according to News 4 Nashville.
People have been cooped up in their houses for over a year, can a guy blow off some steam?