OmG CiNdy, tHiS GuY, LiKe, TotAlLy *wOn* HaLlOwEeN!
It’s that time of year again, Cindy! When everyone media publication dubs every halfway decent costume as the WINNER of Halloween. Quirky and fun!
But I’m from a generation where there can only be one winner. Everyone else goes home empty-handed. No stopping for ice cream. Just chew on the bitter taste of defeat, Timmy, and take a deep introspective look into your half-assed Hulk Hogan costume and try to conceive a world in which it would take home the grand prize. Now go up to your room while I wrestle your mother.
With that said, it is my great honor to announce your 2019 Halloween Winner:
You know how they say everyone else played the Joker, but Heath Ledger was the Joker? That’s the situation we have going on here. Brett Pella truly believes he is Dwayne The Rock Johnson. A masterclass in method acting.
Kevin Hart is dressed like The Rock, but he’s just an imposter.
Can you tell Brett and Dwayne apart?
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🙏🏾🥃 Hobbs & Shaw sets new 2019 box office record for being the #1 movie in the world, for four weeks in a row. Besting previous three week record held by Avengers, Spider-Man and Captain Marvel. Records are made to be broken, so I look forward to the next great movie giving us a run, kickin’ my ass and takin’ the crown 👑 Thanks everyone for the amazing support and hope you had a fantastic Labor Day with your loved ones. Now back to my labor 🤙🏾 #hobbsandshaw #1 🌎
To all you losers out there, you best come correct next Halloween.