Mary-Kate Olsen Is Filing For Divorce From Her Husband, The Brother Of The President Of France

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Sad news today out of New York City, where Mary-Kate Olsen has filed for divorce from her husband, Olivier Sarkozy. Gotta start with the size of his melon. Far be it for me to dome-shame as I’m a 7 5/8ths guy myself, but LOOK at his head! Compared to Mary-Kate’s, it looks like a watermelon next to a kiwi. You rarely see marriages work out with such a startling discrepancy in head size.

With that said, did anyone know that Mary-Kate Olsen was married? W.E.B. Yaboi had NO idea, but I guess this would fall in the back pages of celebrity gossip mags. And not only married, but married to a French banker 17 years her senior. And not only a French banker 17 years her senior, but the brother of the former president of France. AND he studied medieval history. Getting a real Mr. Big vibe from this guy.