The Internet Is In A Heated Debate Over Whether The Middle Seat On An Airplane Gets Both Armrests


I have a theory that hell is just the middle seat of a trans-continental flight while the person to your right is obese and the guy on your left has a sinus infection. Add a leftover tuna sub to the mix and I wouldn’t wish that circumstance on my worst enemy.

The middle seat is the Cooper Manning of seating options. Most of the time, I just oscillate from having a panic attack bred out of claustrophobia to having a panic attack about the possibility of my neighbors striking up a conversation with me at my most vulnerable moment.

There are near zero liberties of being the sandwich filling, but the silver lining is that some accept that both the left and right arm rests belong to the person in the middle.

The Rich Eisen Show conducted a poll to determine who actually believes this and who just wants to watch the world burn.

It appears that nearly 50,000 people wouldn’t piss on the middle seater if he were on fire.

50,000 of these guys.

The people advocating for middle seat rights argued their case.

Some weren’t as humane.

Life hack: Pop a xanax and suck down a Bloody Mary and you’d be fine if they put you on the fucking wing.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.