This Twitter Account Dedicated To Attractive Girl Mugshots Will Make You Fight For Prison Reform

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Ladies like bad boys.

This is exactly why I still use my old roommate’s Netflix password and claimed more deductions than I should have on my taxes this year. Young and reckless. You wouldn’t make it one day in my hood affluent suburb because they’re building a Bloomingdale’s and construction traffic is just a nightmare.

When my grandmother asks me why I’m not married yet, I tell her I’m already married to the streets, but she doesn’t get it because she’s fucking old and straight-edge.

The real reason I stay single is because I haven’t found the Bonnie to my Clyde.

That changes today, homie sir.

The Twitter account Mugshawtys has amassed nearly 200,000 followers for posting mugshots of girls who never talked to me in high school and have since broken the law.

Creator of Mugshawtys, 24-year-old electrician Josh Jeffery, told the New York Post that more women that not want to be featured for the cred. That’s prison slang for clout.

“A lot of people send me their own mugshots — I get probably 15 to 20 plus [direct messages] a day of different ones. A lot of what I post is submissions.”

A Saints tattoo. The irony.

I’ll take my chances. There’s risk involved in every relationship.

No license? That’s cool, I’ll come to you. Leaving literally right now.

That’s a happy mugshot. I want whatever strain she was smokin.

Ok, I think I found my wife. Bye.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.