New Dating App For Men With Small Penises Already Has A Sizable Membership Pool


Hey thanks for clicking. It takes a real man to admit when he has a baby carrot.

Consider this a safe space.

A space free from the chokehold of Big Dick, who for centuries have convinced us that we are less worthy of having sexual intercourse or operating heavy machinery.

Not anymore.

A new dating app called Dinky One is the very first app to advocate for the rights of men with vienna sausages hanging between their legs.

Dinky One

The global average erect penis length about 5.5 inches (14 cm). If your penis is less than this you are eligible to join us. Remember that 50% of the male population will have a penis less than average size.

“The average penis length is 5.5 inches and the average penis length of a man who Googles “average penis length” is 3.5 inches.” -Bo Burnham

According to Men’s Health, Dinky has already amassed nearly 28,000 members–27 percent female, 71 percent male and 2 percent transgender.

If you are still fearful of society finding out about your pen cap, fear not. You have the option of being anonymous, with the only personal information required to join is an email address and pictures are optional.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to update my profile picture.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.