This November will mark the ninth anniversary of the glorious day the good people of Colorado voted to legalize recreational marijuana, and in 2014, a de facto pilot program was launched as dispensaries around the state began to open their doors.
By the time the end of that year rolled around, Colorado had managed to rake in $44 million in tax revenue while subsequently proving you can indeed allow marijuana to be openly sold in your state without seeing it plunged into anarchy. It didn’t take long for others to get in on the action, but the same can’t be said for the enclave of liberal elites that is New York, which took its sweet damn time getting around to doing the same before lawmakers finally reached a deal that all but guarantees the state will soon join the ranks of the 15 others that have instituted recreational programs.
As things currently stand, it appears the bill could be passed as early as next week before landing on the desk of Andrew Cuomo, who has agreed to sign it into law after dragging his heels for a few years (and score some of the good press he needs after finding himself embroiled in a couple of scandals thanks to accusations concerning covering up nursing homes deaths while taking a premature COVID victory lap and sexually harassing multiple women.)
There’s no telling how long it will take for the dispensaries and lounges that will be tentatively allowed to operate to officially open for business, so if you have A Guy whose number is saved as “Papa John” in your phone, you’ll probably have to rely on him for the foreseeable future. With that said, this is still a big step for a state that’s hoping to create a $4.2 billion industry (see what they did there?) and there’s a ton of potential for innovation—especially when it comes to coming up with some new names for weed strains.
Weed aficionados who’ve lived in New York are likely intimately familiar with staples like Sour Diesel and Blue Dream. However, retailers have a golden opportunity to set themselves apart by following in the footsteps of the guy who threw a picture of an unconscious Nate Robinson on a Mylar bag by dreaming up some quintessentially New York names for strains to help market themselves and stand out in what will be an undoubtedly crowded pack.
What kind of branding are we talking about? Well, I’m glad you asked, as I decided to come up with some potential monikers that dispensaries can use to market their wares whenever they start popping up, like:
- $50 Slice
- Bacon, Egg, And Chief
- Dank’s Red Hot
- Dankee Stadium
- Deadass Grass
- Budega Cat
- The High Line
- Mayor Ed Kush
- Subway Floor Sticky Icky
- Nathan’s Hot Bongs
- Sesh And The City
- The Macy’s Danksgiving Day Parade
- The Stonedwall Inn
- Hempire State of Mind
- Harlem Jazz Cigarette
- Budson Valley
- Smoke This To Deal With Having To Live In Albany
These are all up for grabs, so if you’re looking to get some skin in the game when everything falls into place, feel free to thank me later.