‘Parasite’ Won Best Picture Because It Was The Best Movie Of The Year

I woke up this morning in a fantastic mood. I had a couple of pints with the boys last night and was passed out cold by 10. Didn’t even munch when I got home — just went straight to bed. Electric stuff. Got a spectacular night’s sleep — didn’t wake up to drink a glass of water or take a piss or fix my pillows, not even once. Woke up at 6:45 a.m. this morning feeling genuinely refreshed and ready to close the week out strong before another weekend of mid-20s debauchery.

As I normally do in the mornings before work, I drink my coffee and scroll through Twitter to see if there were any late-night trends from the day before that are worth writing about today.

Usually, these late-night stories will be sports-related — like a Western conference NBA team hitting a buzzer-beater or Bill Walton saying something completely out of pocket while calling the UCLA vs Arizona State game — or hard news related: someone got arrested or someone died or something is on fire, etc, etc, etc. Rarely does entertainment news cause much a stir in the evenings.

So, needless to say, when I woke up this morning and saw that Parasite was trending again, I was confused: did our thicc floppy-haired king and permanent mood Bong Joon Ho win another well-deserved award? Did his kick-ass interpreter who is clearly smarter than you and I combined wrap up her screenplay about awards season? Did Bong sign on to direct a new project?!?!?!?!

No, unfortunately, Parasite wasn’t trending due to any of these justifiable moments of celebration but was instead the main topic of the public’s conversation after the President of the United States admitted that he could not comprehend how or why it won Best Picture at this year’s Academy Awards.

“It’s bad with the Academy Awards this year, did you see it? ‘And the winner is… a movie from South Korea!’ What the hell was that all about? We’ve got enough problems with South Korea with trade, and on top of it, they give them the best movie of the year.”

“Was it good? I don’t know. You know, I’m looking for like — can we get like Gone With The Wind (1939) back, please. Sunset Boulevard, so many great movies. ‘The winner is from South Korea!’ I thought it was best foreign film, right? Best foreign movie! Did this ever happen before?,” the President said during a campaign rally in Colorado Springs.

Politics aside, there is simply no argument that can be made for any other movie being the best of the year except for Parasite. As I wrote in my Oscars betting preview article prior to the ceremony, the Academy would have been risking all credibility if they told the American people that they decided 1917 was better than Parasite. And lo and behold, they didn’t, because it wasn’t — Parasite’s win was beyond deserved.

“Everywhere on the internet, you will be told that 1917 is essentially a lock for Best Picture, and I find it strikingly strange because frankly, Parasite is head-and-shoulders a better film,” I wrote at the time.

So, because I am BroBible’s resident entertainment writer, I felt as though I’d make the compelling argument as to why, in fact, Parasite won Best Picture. Bear with me now because my analysis gets pretty dense.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

Parasite won Best Picture because it was the best movie of the year.

***

Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com