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This is my second post about Paulina Gretzky in as many hours so dad, if you’re reading, I don’t want to hear you bitching anymore about the Economics degree footed the bill on not paying off in the real world!
For the many of you who didn’t read the first post, oddsmaker Bovada made it so that you can bet on whether or not Paulina Gretzky to show up to the Ryder Cup in France at the end of the month to watch her husband defend his Ryder Cup championship.
But before you make your bets, you should be informed of new information.
Paulina posted a short video of her listening to the song “I’d Be Jealous Too,” by country singer Dustin Lynch.
Paulina Gretzky Instagram
Now before you tell me I’m grasping at straws here, consider this:
Different Dustin? Check. Song with lyrics like ‘I’d be jealous, I’d be jealous, I’d be jealous too, I’d be jealous, I’d be jealous’ that could totally be taken out of context? Check. Ambigious ‘Mood’ caption? Check? Tagging the musician? Check. Good looking dude with a cowboy hat? Check.
This is post-breakup 101. Be subtle enough to not come off petty, but leave enough for your significant other to run over in his head until he sends you a triggered text message. This, my friends, is artful work by Ms. Gretzky. You notice how I didn’t say Ms. Johnson? BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN ENGAGED FOR SIX YEARS AND HAVEN’T GOTTEN MARRIED OF COURSE SHE’S DEFINITELY ALLEGEDLY POSSIBLY DATING THIS COUNTRY SINGER DUDE ANYONE WHOSE BEEN IN RELATIONSHIP PURGATORY SINCE OBAMA’S FIRST TERM WOULD TOO! A GUY WITH BRETT FAVRE WRANGLERS AND AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR IS A CHEAT CODE FOR GETTING WOMEN!
Given this information, I am pleased to announce that I am re-mortgaging my house to bet that Paulina Gretzky will not be present at the Ryder Cup at the end of the month. BOOK IT BABY AND CUE THE MUSIC DUSTIN 2.0!!
[h/t SPUN]