Rob Gronkowski Looks Possessed By The Party Gods In These Clips Of His Reckless Retirement Party In Vegas

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Am I the only one who thought that after retiring from the NFL, Gronk would move to a serene cabin in the woods to binge on decaf coffee and pen his memoir while soft jazz echoes gently in the background? Maybe take a morning swim in the lake before having sex making love to Camille Kostek?

Welp, maybe Gronk is scribbling down memoir notes on the hotel room notepad in between injecting alcohol into his veins and convulsing on the dance floor.

The 29-year-old retiree (Jesus, imagine saying that about literally any other profession) took his retirement tour to the brand new KAOS Dayclub at the Palms Resort in Las Vegas over the weekend and was reportedly pounding Coors Lights like water (cue the beer snobs telling me Coors is water). Gronk and his crew then headed over to the NoMad pool party, where he took over the DJ booth, played the saxaphone and started banging out pushups (getting ready for next season’s playoffs, are we?)

Check out some tasty clips from the weekend.

Also, unrelated to the debauchery, but Is tumbled across this photo of Gronk as a 12 year old and I could not believe my eyes.

Twelve years old.

Have a good day.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.