ETSY
Are you still struggling to see the light from your annual winter dry spell? Do you need a Swiffer to dust off your Johnson after months of hibernation? Do you not want to put in the effort of actual conversing with a potential mate? Do you hate your dad?
Boy do I have a solution for you.
Break out your fishnets from Hot Topic and your mom’s eyeliner and pair them with the hottest craze on the streets right now: GOTH CROCS.
ETSY
These sex tickets are running for $240 on ETSY, which is really nothing when you consider how much dark sex they’ll score you.
These Goth Crocs are earning some serious clout on the streets and at your nearest graveyard.
Don't care about backlash right now but… I'd totally wear the fuck out of those "goth" crocs.
— Visaria 🦇🌙 (@VisariaLugosi) April 1, 2019
I hate myself for admitting this but Goth Crocs are kind of iconic idc idc pic.twitter.com/DAbkC50nOB
— Pam 😎 (@HeyItsPammo) April 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/volcanicavery/status/1111072999438995456
https://twitter.com/IncrediblyTense/status/1117303348913266689
Beto standing on a table naked except for goth crocs.
— Alice (@AliceFromQueens) March 31, 2019
Long live the Goth Crocs.
ETSY