Supervillain Pastor Tony Spell Facing Felony Charges For Allegedly Intimidating Protester With Moving Vehicle

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Jesus: “Turn the other cheek.”

Tony Spell: “Imma run this bitch over.”

The Tony Spell saga continues to get more and more outlandish, as authorities said Monday that the megachurch pastor who has continuously violated Louisiana’s stay-at-home order is now facing criminal charges for driving a church bus backward toward a protester outside the church.

(Never did I think I’d be on Spell’s side, but a potential felony? For this?)

According to The Washington Post, Central Police Chief Roger Corcoran said police have a warrant for Spell’s arrest and he is wanted on a charge of aggravated assault related to the bus incident.

According to Corcoran, Spell was driving a bus and backed it up on the shoulder of the road, stopping the vehicle within a few feet of a protester. A parishioner is also facing charges for swerving his car toward a protester. No one was hurt in either incident.

“He was trying to intimidate the protester,” Corcoran said. He said police reviewed video of the incident, which local television outlets aired.

[Related: Tony Spell Challenges Parishioners To Donate Stimulus Checks To Church]

Spell reportedly wrote in a text message that he refuses to surrender and that authorities would have to drag him out of his Baton Rogue church.

“I approached a man who verbally assaulted my wife and little girls. He’s a crotch-grabbing, middle-finger using against my church ladies,” Spell wrote in a text message. “What would you do to a man like that?”

Spell is wearing the potential crime like a red badge of courage.

“This is the proudest day of my life to be persecuted for the faith,” he wrote in a text message.

The pastor will have to bring in a lawyer off the bench, seeing as his current one has pneumonia in both lungs and is hooked up to oxygen after attending a couple of Spell’s services and contracting COVID-19.

[h/t The Washington Post]

 

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.