Let’s see what’s on the internet today, shall we:
- Joaquin Phoenix thinks Hitler was reborn as milk.
- Baker Mayfield put the ‘c-o-c-k’ in Cheesecake Factory.
- MLB fans are petitioning to keep baseball boring.
- Step-mother porn.
- More step-mother porn.
- There seems to be a troubling population of men who have the desire to faintly taste their fathers’ penises. This sounds like more of an epidemic than
- Coronavirus could affect two thirds of the world’s population, but not you. Because you played JV baseball. You are built tougher.
Ok, I think that’s enough internet for to—
Aw bah gahd.
What do we have here.
A perfect piece of internet:
Joe Buck: Ya know, Troy, you just love to see two warriors who have battled ruthlessly all night for the soft 7 at the end of the bar to put their swords down and respect that neither one is going home with her. Can’t even believe they’re still standing.
Troy Aikman: Yeah Joe, there’s respect, and then there’s giving another man your shirt so he can use it for his personal clean up rag later after you both drained your bank accounts buying drinks for a girl who only ended up going home with the bar back.
Buck: Not often do you see this display of gratitude from two guys who have been doing it for a while. Kind of brings a tear to my eye.
Buck: Not that emotional, Troy. It’s just a game. Fuck.