Get A Load Of This Lady Performing An Exorcism On A Shampoo Aisle In WalMart

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What, you’ve never seen a lady perform an exorcism on an entire shampoo aisle in WalMart before? (No idea if this is WalMart. Feels like WalMart.) Thought this was going to be a mask thing. Turned out to be a God thing. Then again, most of the people she’s telling to begone, demon! are wearing masks. Seems correlated.

I’m struggling to get past one thing: she keeps telling them to “get off” the aisle. Is this another “in line/on line” thing? Do people in this part of the country say you’re “on the aisle”? I don’t think I can handle another local variation like that. The in line/on line one nearly breaks my brain whenever I think about it.

But who am I to judge her? If I’m dumping in a public bathroom and someone walks in to piss, I hit the pause button. Need solitude. God help me if that person sits down to dump too. Then what? Do I wait for him to finish? Could be a while. If she needs to be completely alone in an aisle to focus on her ‘poo selection, more power to her. That’s textbook social distancing. If anything, she’s playing by the rules (except for the mask omission. Oh well, God has her covered.)

Imagine if another bible-thumping nutjob entered the aisle and started screaming at lady #1 to leave in Jesus’ name so that she could buy her shit first? Do they eventually hold hands and acknowledge that they’re both God’s children? Or do they see each other as agents of the devil, sent up in disguise to lure them off the path of righteousness?

“Get off this aisle until I can buy something! Have some respect for Jesus Christ’s SAINTS!”

Not the shape mind conjures up when I think of saints, but oh well.

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