I’m right there with this dude. Do not have me bartend an event with Scarlett Johansson present unless you want me to knock over all the liquor bottles with my hard on. Expect me to take at least six bathroom breaks to masturbate and don’t be surprised if I tip her for accepting a drink from me. She is fucking diabolical and I simply cannot be trusted to act rationally with her around.
Even though I can sympathize with this adoring bartender, doesn’t mean that I can’t laugh my ass off when the Internet (aka Reddit) eviscerates him with memes and GIFS.
Here are a few gems: