12 Best Fictional Bartenders You’d Want Slinging Drinks At Your Local Watering Hole

National Beer Day marks the end of Prohibition, which came on this day – April 7th – in 1933. Previously, we showed you the most popular beer styles by state and region. To celebrate National Beer Day, we thought we’d rank the best fictional bartenders from movies and TV shows. If only all real-life bartenders could be like the ones on our list, the world would be a much much sloppier, yet smilier, place.

always sunny dennis vomit

Most times, you go to a bar, you wait patiently, a $20 bill in your hand, trying not to appear unsettled, unhinged, and agitated that the person responsible for getting you irresponsible is busy flirting with other customers or staffers. When they finally lose their ability to ignore you any further, the guy or girl who gives you liquid courage usually also gives you a look like your dollars ain’t worth a damn. Or maybe that’s just my experience. It’s a very effective strategy by the barkeep to keep you bending elbows. The more pissed off you get, the more pissed you want to get. Touche, tapper.

isaac ted lange love boat

I’ve never had a ‘hook up’ at a bar, meaning I’ve never ingested my weight in loudmouth soup then had a bartender hand me a tab for two or three drinks. It exists. I’ve seen others do it. Just not to *this* guy. But, that’s not the only quality one should look for in a drink server.

No, when it comes to the list we’ve compiled, a bartender has to do more than the simple task at hand, it goes deeper than that. Do they tell great stories? Will they listen to your somewhat aimless wandering tales? Do they make you feel better about yourself? Do you just flat out admire them for the insanity they’ve endured? Can you confide in them about that thing we don’t speak of? Is a tip simply not enough to show your appreciation? These 12 best fictional bartenders go beyond booze, they have a reserved seat in our livers forever ever.