Let’s All Congratulate Danny Tanner On Finding Love At 61 After Decades Of Joey Gladstone Mooching Off Him


Growing up, I always remember feeling bad for Danny Tanner. The poor bastard lets his brother-in-law Jesse pursue a dead-end music career under his roof while making the foundation shake from making love to his beautiful wife, Becky. Lord knows Gladstone wasn’t throwing in a dime to pay for the mortgage. I’m sure when Kimmie Gibbler became of age, Tanner tasted that fruit, but it sure wasn’t enough to keep the bed warm at night. And those stinky feet. Gross.

But alas, it has been reported that Tanner has put down the duster (that he used on his penis) and found someone to love. Tanner, who was born Bob Saget, is in love at the age of 61. The divorcee told Closer Weekly how he never thought this day would come.

“I didn’t think I’d have a relationship again. I was kind of in that ‘just work, make people happy and take care of your kids until they’re 90’ mindset.”

The woman: 38-year-old Chicago travel blogger named Kelly Rizzo who he met through a mutual friend.

“I don’t really see him as Danny Tanner,” she said of his famed TV dad character. “To me he’s just Bobby, my love.”

Bobby just gushes over her: “She’s a remarkable person, and she’s really talented,” Tanner said.

Solid work, Tanner. She’s a capital B Babe.

[h/t Page Six]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.