Chris Brown Grabs A Groupie’s Phone In The VIP And Throws It Over His Shoulder Like The Jerk He Is

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When I was in college in Virginia, Chris Brown and his cronies showed up to my school one random afternoon to hoop in our gym. That night, he went to an off campus party, where a massive bouncer stood at the door collecting everyone’s phone and throwing it in a large sack prior to entry. Chris allegedly ended up banging a not-so-attractive girl that had been passed around the school like a common cold. It surprised everyone.

Welp, looks like he brought his no-camera policy to a club in Napoli, Italy. Brown snatched the phone of a groupie in the VIP section of club Arenile and casually tossed it over his shoulder. TMZ reports that Brown didn’t the 27-year-old singer didn’t ask the girl any questions before tossing her phone and that the girl was promptly kicked out of the section as well.

Chris Brown is proof that god let’s shitty people succeed and lets fat, virtuous bloggers struggle monthly to pay rent. There is no reward for the pious.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.