Gwyneth Paltrow is one of those chicks you idolize from afar until you accidentally get up close and realize she collects dead cats in her freezer and chews on tree bark for the extra fiber, i.e. she’s fucking nuts. Sure she’s great in the Iron Man movies, but did you know she sits on a throne and lets hot steam fly up her vagina to cleanse her uterus? I did not make that up. It sounds like something I made up and I wish I made it up, but I did not – just like how I’m not making up that she told the New York Times that getting stung by bees is a “pretty incredible” beauty treatment.
Called “apitherapy,” Gwyneth said that “It’s a thousands of years old treatment…people use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring. It’s actually pretty incredible if you research it. But man, it’s painful.” No shit lady – in other news, being smacked in the face with a hammer is painful, stepping on legos without shoes on is painful, and having to write posts on delusional celebrities and their “natural” medicinal practices that they have no qualifications to endorse are also painful.
But what exactly is apitherapy? Huffington Post explains:
Part natural medicine, part acupuncture, modern-day apitherapy uses bee venom as a form of therapy for chronic diseases such as arthritis, multiple sclerosis, cervical cancer and as a natural alternative to antibiotics.
Hmmm…screams “anti-vaxxer” all over it to me. Anytime someone touts a “natural alternative” to antibiotics I’m immediately skeptical.
Wang Menglin, a bee acupuncturist who works in a clinic in Beijing, claims to have “treated patients with dozens of diseases, from arthritis to cancer, all with positive results.” But he added that it is used to tackle “most common diseases in the lower limbs.” Multiple studies have tested the efficacy of this terrifying beauty treatment, but there’s insufficient scientific evidence that it actually works. Bruce Katz, the director of the Cosmetic Surgery & Laser Clinic at Mount Sinai Medical Center, warns against bee venom therapy.
“In fact, it can be dangerous,” he told Refinery29. “You can have an allergic reaction that causes swelling or worse, go into anaphylactic shock. This is not something you should apply to your skin.”
Correction: this is not something you or I, relatively sane and rational people, should apply to our skin. Gwyneth Paltrow is neither sane nor rational. So while you might call be a jealous twerp for hating on Our Lord And Savior Paltrow’s beauty regimen, I’ll take it – and you can leave the bees for Gwynnie.
[H/T Huffington Post]